About EMDR

What it is, how it works, and what to expect

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a structured therapy that helps your brain work through painful or distressing experiences so they stop feeling so present and powerful. You don't have to relive everything in detail, and you don't have to talk at length about what happened.

How it works

Usually, your brain files away experiences, sorts them, and connects them to what you already know. Sometimes a distressing event overwhelms that process. The memory stays stuck, held with the same images, body sensations, and feelings it had at the time, so reminders can set it off as if it were happening now (Shapiro, 2018).

When a memory is stuck
After processing
It feels current and intense. Reminders trigger strong reactions that seem out of proportion. Old beliefs ("I'm not safe," "It's my fault") feel true.
The memory is still yours, but it feels more like the past. The emotional charge drops, and you can see the event, and yourself, with more perspective and kindness.

During processing, you focus briefly on a part of the memory while following side-to-side eye movements, alternating taps, or alternating tones. This back-and-forth ("bilateral") stimulation seems to help the brain get unstuck and move the memory along. Researchers are still studying exactly why it works. The work happens in your own mind at your own pace, and you set the limits.

Stuck memory network Cut off from new learning Healthy memory networks Holds what you need to resolve it Processing links the networks together

Original illustration of the idea described in Shapiro (2018).

What a session looks like

EMDR has eight phases, and most of the early work is preparation:

  • History and planning: we talk about what you want to work on and what's brought you in.
  • Preparation: I teach you calming and grounding skills so you have tools before we begin any deeper work.
  • Processing: you notice what comes up (images, thoughts, feelings, body sensations) in short sets of bilateral stimulation, and we check in between sets. There's nothing to do right. Just notice and let whatever happens, happen.
  • Closing and follow-up: we always save time at the end of each session to help you feel grounded, and we review progress at the next visit.

What to expect

  • You are always in control. You can pause or stop at any time by saying so or using a signal we agree on.
  • Feelings may shift in the session, and some people feel tired or emotional afterward. Vivid dreams or new memories can come up between sessions. This is normal.
  • The number of sessions varies. A single memory can take a few sessions, and more complex histories take longer.

Between sessions

  • Be kind to yourself. Rest, drink water, and keep your schedule gentle if you can.
  • Use the Safe/Calm Place and Container exercises we practice together whenever things feel big.
  • Jot down anything that comes up (dreams, memories, triggers) to bring to our next session. You don't need to analyze it.
Questions to think about before we begin: What would you like to feel or believe differently? What helps you feel calm and safe right now? What worries you about this work?

Reference: Shapiro, F. (2018). Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy: Basic principles, protocols, and procedures (3rd ed.). Guilford Press.
Josh Dix Counseling. For educational purposes only; it does not replace the guidance of your therapist.